36afa1139b1e459fac10ab2085e85d94 by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2023-04-26T22:16:47+00:00

Scene Four

Bedroom of Mammy O’Dougal , Johnny ’s ninety- year-old mother.

Mammy in bed, Doctor McSharry checking her with a stethoscope, Johnny hovering.

Doctor Have you been laying off the drink, Mrs O’Dougal?

Johnny Did you not hear me question, Doctor?

Doctor I did hear your question, but amn’t I trying to examine your mammy without your fool questions?

Johnny Fool questions, is it?

Doctor Have you been laying off the drink, Mrs O’Dougal, I said?

Mammy ( burps ) I have been laying off the drink or I’ve sort of been laying off the drink.

Scene Four 59

Johnny She has a pint of porter now and then is no harm at all.

Mammy Is no harm at all.

Johnny Is good for you!

Doctor So long as you keep it at a pint of porter is the main thing so.

Mammy It is the main thing, and a couple of whiskies now and then.

Johnny Didn’t I only just say not to mention the whiskies, ya thick?

Doctor How often is now and then?

Johnny Once in a blue moon.

Mammy Once in a blue moon, and at breakfast sometimes.

Johnny ‘At breakfast’, jeez . . .

Doctor Johnnypateenmike, don’t you know well not to go feeding a ninety- year-old woman whiskey for breakfast?

Johnny Ah she likes it, and doesn’t it shut her up?

Mammy I do like a drop of whiskey, me, I do.

Johnny From the horse’s mouth.

Mammy Although I do prefer poteen.

Doctor But you don’t get given poteen?

Mammy I don’t get given poteen, no.

Johnny Now.

Mammy Only on special occasions.

Doctor And what qualifi es as a special occasion?

Mammy A Friday, a Saturday or a Sunday.

Doctor When your mammy’s dead and gone, Johnnypateen, I’m going to cut out her liver and show it to you, the damage your fi ne care has done.

60 The Cripple of Inishmaan

Johnny You won’t catch me looking at me mammy’s liver. I can barely stomach the outside of her, let alone the inside.

Doctor A fi ne thing that is for a fella to say in front of his mammy.

Mammy I’ve heard worse.

Johnny Leave me mammy alone now, you, with your mangling.

If she’s been trying to drink herself dead for sixty- fi ve years with no luck, I wouldn’t start worrying about her now. Sixty- fi ve years.

Feck, she can’t do anything right.

Doctor Why do you want to drink yourself dead, Mrs O’Dougal?

Mammy I do miss me husband Donal. Ate be a shark.

Johnny 1871 he was ate be a shark.

Doctor Oh you should be trying to get over that now, Mrs O’Dougal.

Mammy I’ve tried to, Doctor, but I can’t. A lovely man he was.

And living with this goose all these years, it just brings it back to me.

Johnny Who are you calling a goose, ya hairy- lipped fool?

Didn’t I go out of me way to bring Doctor McSharry home to ya?

Mammy Aye, but only to go nosing about Cripple Billy Claven is all.

Johnny No, not . . . not . . . Ah you always go spilling the beans, you, ya lump.

Mammy I’m an honest woman, me, Johnnypateen.

Johnny Honest me hairy hole.

Mammy And you didn’t get me drunk enough.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.